"ATTRACTIVISM"

Our fair city had a renowned luminary from the art world last night--Janine Antoni, an artist from New York City. She brought with her some really prestigious awards (which was why the local college brought her here in the first place). Aside from painting with her head (as the poster below attests) she also does artwork with lots of other body parts as well. As to whether the resulting artwork is any good or not is another story. (But did I mention she has those prestigious awards?) She also has a derriere that is reminiscent of Catherine Zeta-Jones in the trailer for that awful movie "Entrapment". In fact, if we could pan up the poster below we would see all the people behind her staring intently at her butt. But like all good artists she doesn't want to be pigeon-holed, so in a more recent piece she lies naked in a bathtub, all attractive and slim, while nearby cows walk around, ruminate, and occasionally stop by for a drink of her bath water. This raises several questions. One, how exactly is this art? And two, would she still get these really prestigious awards and exclusive NYC gallery representation if she were fat and unattractive? I submit that Janine Antoni is the founder of a new school of modern art--"Attractivism"--where one can do whatever pops into their heads as long as they look really hot while doing it! After all, the process is what it's about, and who wouldn't want to see some slim hot naked babe lying in a bathtub or gyrating around the floor in a black skin-tight cat suit!